So, it’s been a really long time since I’ve posted here, and I’m really sorry for that. I was suffering with tonsillitis a few weeks ago (it was literally the worst case of it I’ve ever had and I’m a regular sufferer) and since then I’ve lost my motivation. In all honesty I’ve not been motivated for anything until recently.
I just wanted to express how I’m feeling at the moment, because I find writing it down always makes me feel better, kind of like letting go of the emotions I’ve built up of late.
I never realised how many ways there are for a person to judge another, until it started happening to me day-in day-out. You could say it’s a contributing factor to why I’ve lacked motivation. The more people have given me dirty looks, or made remarks about me behind my back, the less I’ve felt like loving myself. I think anyone who spends enough time with me knows that my bravado is sometimes misplaced, and the self-deprecating jokes are genuine assassinations of my own character.
I’m currently lying in bed. It’s almost 1am and my partner is sleeping beside me, but I can’t sleep. I’m lying here, just thinking why do I let other people determine my happiness? I’ve come to the realisation that if I continue letting this get to me, it’s going to end up controlling every aspect of who I am. For months now, I’ve wanted to shave my head for charity, but I’ve been too scared to do it – not because of being bald. Hair grows back. But because of what jokes people will make just because I’ve tried to do something that I believe is admirable. I’ve now got to the point where I know I have to take charge of my life and not let anyone else affect it with negativity. I’ve recieved a lot of supportive messages on social media for my decision, so I need to keep that in mind!
I’ve wanted to do this for so long, and next month is when I’m going to do it! If anyone would like to donate to this cause, then please click here. It would also be awesome if you could share this post to help raise awareness against this devastating illness that affects so many people each year. I really appreciate the support ❤
Sorry it’s been a short post today but I’m going to aim to post again later on in the week and just be more consistent in general when it comes to my blog. If anyone has any questions about my post at all then don’t hesitate to leave a comment or message me! I enjoy interacting with you guys so it’s always welcome. 💘
Until next time my lovelies! Xoxo